Butterfly Moments

I love homeschooling my kids. Love it. I look back at the few years of taking them to school and wonder how I did it. How we did it. Getting up and getting ready. Lunches. Homework. Remembering to pick them up. I realize these aren't big things and for most people it's a normal part of life. But I'm not normal and yes some days it was difficult to remember to pick them up.

I love having them home with me. We are able to learn from real life. We can read from the science book and immediately go outside and find what we just read.  Emily gives shots to the lambs and is responsible for filling the creep feeder. They may not be as "socialized" as other kids but do I really want my 9 year old daughter having a crush on Justin Bieber? Or thinking she needs to dress like Miley Cyrus to get boys attention? Or thinking that she needs to get boys attention. At all! Instead of that kind of socialization we can learn about Kony. We can save our money and donate our things for a yard sale that will help build a school in Congo. We can learn to pray for the orphans, the homeless, the babies who face death everyday. We can learn to serve the least of these.

I'm certainly not saying that there is anything wrong with kids going to school. I know how hard teachers work and how little they are thanked. I know how so many put their heart and soul into the kids only to be figuratively spit on. But this works for us. And I love it.

However even being at home has it's complications. Some days the hours steal the minutes. There is never enough time in the day. We get so busy with the sheep, the yard, the house, the meetings, the groups, that we forget to stop and breathe. My children are growing up so fast. Time hasn't slowed down since we started homeschooling. The moments slip by me sometimes. I know how fragile life is. I faced it watching Emily dying for two and a half years. I faced it when my best friend from high school died. I face it today. We take these moments for granted. What if I wake up tomorrow morning and Emily doesn't? What if Andrew doesn't? What if I don't wake up? Have I given them everything they need in life? What have I taught them?

If I answered this today honestly I would say I've taught them that doing the laundry and the dishes was more important than going on a walk with them.  That keeping the house cleaned up was more important than playing in it. I do want to teach them the importance of being responsible but more than that I want to teach them to LIVE everyday. Not just walk through life doing what you're suppose to do but to LIVE.

God didn't put us on earth to be safe and secure making sure everything is just right in our house. He didn't put us on earth to teach our kids to go to school and get a good education to get a good job so you can buy a big house you can't afford and expensive cars you don't need. Why should I teach my kids that? While being educated is important, my dream certainly isn't for my children to grow up and live the American dream. What if God wants something different for them?

I have gotten out of the habit of enjoying God's spectacular creation. The responsibilities of life get in the way of just stopping and truly seeing what God made. This morning, though, was different. As I hung up the laundry I spotted a pale blue butterfly settled on the grass. Emily and I watched it for a few minutes while it fluttered it's wings until finally it flew away. It occurred to me that those moments are what I remember from my childhood. The times when God's creation was bigger than life's expectations. I have the biggest opportunity to create more of those moments, so why am I wasting them? Wasted moments will never come again. I need to do better. I will do better.